The big boys! All of these bad boys have a true swagger about them. Like they know they’re at the pinnacle of the pyramid. Not the good looking, lean, 6 pack flashing athletes like the Mid weight nakeds. These machines are the guys lifting the whole weight rack at the gym, screaming in agony, veins popping, t-shirts ripping staring menacingly around the gym for challengers. I avoid making eye contact with such types at the gym and I tried my best to avoid making contact with them in this test riding caper. But fuck. They’re irresistible. You just can’t help but stare. And touch. Not the boys ya homo. The bikes.
The Brutale first. I've been intrigued by the Brutale legend for a long time. People talk in hushed tones of a wild and uncontrollable beast that only the bravest and wiliest hunters could tame. It looks amazing on paper (and in photos!) but you hardly see any on the street. Once in a while it shows up in a big bore naked bike comparison test. All the journos throw big and complicated words around when they talk about it but none chooses it as their favourite. I've just never understood what makes this bike extremely special but never desirable. I felt I was ready to find out for myself.
The Brutale first. I've been intrigued by the Brutale legend for a long time. People talk in hushed tones of a wild and uncontrollable beast that only the bravest and wiliest hunters could tame. It looks amazing on paper (and in photos!) but you hardly see any on the street. Once in a while it shows up in a big bore naked bike comparison test. All the journos throw big and complicated words around when they talk about it but none chooses it as their favourite. I've just never understood what makes this bike extremely special but never desirable. I felt I was ready to find out for myself.
Purdy
The 1090 was parked right next to the 800RR and the first thing I notice is the visual uplift in bulk over the diminutive 800. If Mike Tyson was a motorcycle, he would be a Brutale 1090. Barrel torso, huge hunched shoulders, a bull's neck supporting a smooth, round head(light). The word “Stocky” comes to mind. Sitting on it confirms this initial impression. It’s not super heavy but definitely bulky. Its only short compared to most big bore nakeds though and it’s an easy and comfortable position in the cockpit. This thing just rips but. Straight off idle. No building up the revs like a normal inline 4. Don’t know what kind of steroids the MV doctors have pumped into this thing but it’s just animalistic insane. Nearly high sided heading out of the driveway. I’m used to revving the shit out of the CBR to get it going though!
The 1090 was parked right next to the 800RR and the first thing I notice is the visual uplift in bulk over the diminutive 800. If Mike Tyson was a motorcycle, he would be a Brutale 1090. Barrel torso, huge hunched shoulders, a bull's neck supporting a smooth, round head(light). The word “Stocky” comes to mind. Sitting on it confirms this initial impression. It’s not super heavy but definitely bulky. Its only short compared to most big bore nakeds though and it’s an easy and comfortable position in the cockpit. This thing just rips but. Straight off idle. No building up the revs like a normal inline 4. Don’t know what kind of steroids the MV doctors have pumped into this thing but it’s just animalistic insane. Nearly high sided heading out of the driveway. I’m used to revving the shit out of the CBR to get it going though!
It just gets faster and faster and the tach needle keeps climbing till suddenly you’re entering a suburban roundabout doing 100KM an hour. You jam on the anchors which bite hard and the whole fucking thing compresses into the frame and you think you’re going over the bars. You push on the left bar to get it turned and it drops effortlessly and picks a precise line and you think wow! Then as you get on the gas to exit the roundabout, the front wheel hits a little bump while leaned over, the handlebars shake, the beast in the engine howls and you have gone from Shit to Wow to Shit 3 times in the first minute aboard. Soooo much power, short wheelbase, sharp brakes, firm suspension and 220KG of weight (that’s how much it feels like when you’re charging into a tight corner. I have no idea what the spec sheet says about the weight). The whole show is extremely exciting, bordering on nerve wracking. There’s a line between excitement and fear. I was over on the fear side for more time in that 30 minute ride than I have been on the CBR in a year. I haven’t felt like this since the first time I rode a SuperDuke 990 many years ago. I am a lot better rider now and SuperDukes scare me no more. But Brutale 1090s do! I would have to be a lot better rider to extract the kind of performance out of the Brutale that it has. To ride a bike to its potential while having fun, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Not just scaring yourself silly!
I now understand why Magazines don’t put this bike at the top of their lists. Because they know that if the average reader goes and buys this thing, they will kill themselves. The magazines don’t want that kind of mass murder on their hands.
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To the Tuono then. I must preface this review with context. I have lusted after the Tuono V4R and had wet dreams of riding the thing through some twisties, the V4 on song, for years. If I was into weird sexual stuff, I would be seeking out orifices in the frame to satisfy myself.
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To the Tuono then. I must preface this review with context. I have lusted after the Tuono V4R and had wet dreams of riding the thing through some twisties, the V4 on song, for years. If I was into weird sexual stuff, I would be seeking out orifices in the frame to satisfy myself.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this test riding caper started with the Tuono V4R so far in front of the contenders that I never even imagined I would buy anything else. It was an academic, record-keeping exercise. It has turned out to be anything but that will be summarised later. My thoughts on the Tuono.
DAT V4 SOUND!
When the sales guy wheeled the matt black Tuono into the workshop to put some fuel in, I waited outside and looked around. And then he started it. I couldn’t see it, just hear it. I LOLed. Instantly and literally. “You’re buying this thing Harry. Cut the crap and tell him to take your money. You don’t even need to ride it.” But I did ride it.
It feels very sporty compared to the other naked bikes in this test. The seat is high, hard and sloped forward. The tank is long and you need to reach for the bars. It’s not uncomfortable, just purposeful. Sitting in the cockpit, you’re under no illusion that you’re going for a tootle around town. But it easily tootles around town. I was surprised. The take-off is hassle free and super smooth, like a typical 4 cylinder. It’s perfectly happy to sit under 4K in first or second gear without needing to slip the clutch very much. It’s not twitchy at low revs like the Brutale, which is constantly straining at the leash. And you rev, and it goes. And you back off and it slows. No hiccups, the throttle does everything exactly like you ask it to. Very Honda’esque! There’s not overbearing torque below 5K and it feels very civilized. But over that it just puts down and takes off. Not in a wheeleeing kind of way but more of a drag racer. Just pure acceleration. Too fast I think. Speedo says 9K RPM in second gear. There another 5K to go. Fuck. Where will I use this much power? The first seeds of doubt are sown.
DAT V4 SOUND!
When the sales guy wheeled the matt black Tuono into the workshop to put some fuel in, I waited outside and looked around. And then he started it. I couldn’t see it, just hear it. I LOLed. Instantly and literally. “You’re buying this thing Harry. Cut the crap and tell him to take your money. You don’t even need to ride it.” But I did ride it.
It feels very sporty compared to the other naked bikes in this test. The seat is high, hard and sloped forward. The tank is long and you need to reach for the bars. It’s not uncomfortable, just purposeful. Sitting in the cockpit, you’re under no illusion that you’re going for a tootle around town. But it easily tootles around town. I was surprised. The take-off is hassle free and super smooth, like a typical 4 cylinder. It’s perfectly happy to sit under 4K in first or second gear without needing to slip the clutch very much. It’s not twitchy at low revs like the Brutale, which is constantly straining at the leash. And you rev, and it goes. And you back off and it slows. No hiccups, the throttle does everything exactly like you ask it to. Very Honda’esque! There’s not overbearing torque below 5K and it feels very civilized. But over that it just puts down and takes off. Not in a wheeleeing kind of way but more of a drag racer. Just pure acceleration. Too fast I think. Speedo says 9K RPM in second gear. There another 5K to go. Fuck. Where will I use this much power? The first seeds of doubt are sown.
There’s a bit of travel in the brakes before they engage but when they do, it comes on strong and sharp. The suspension is wonderfully composed and the whole impression is one of refinement and ease. This is somewhat at odds with the raucous, intoxicating sound emanating constantly from the engine and exhaust. It turns easily and feels incredibly planted when over. It just does everything so well without ever breaking a sweat.
I don’t know what happened though. I was expecting the bike to just grab and impress me immediately and it didn’t quite do that. I think that’s not because of anything the bike doesn’t do well. But because it nails its design brief! Ha. The Aprilia engineers probably have their hands in their heads reading this.
This is a 1000cc sportsbike. Make no mistake. When I started this test I wanted a Tuono V4R but certainly didn’t want a 1000CC sportsbike. What the fuck was I thinking? Didn’t think this through did you Harry? Like the Dog caper. I have believed for a long time (since my R1) that a 1000CC sportsbike is just overkill for most road riding conditions and compromised too much for everyday use. That’s why bikes like the MT09 and the Brutale 800 are so attractive to me. Power off the bottom, in real world conditions and front wheel lofting fun, everywhere. A lot more involving at slower speeds.
I don’t know what happened though. I was expecting the bike to just grab and impress me immediately and it didn’t quite do that. I think that’s not because of anything the bike doesn’t do well. But because it nails its design brief! Ha. The Aprilia engineers probably have their hands in their heads reading this.
This is a 1000cc sportsbike. Make no mistake. When I started this test I wanted a Tuono V4R but certainly didn’t want a 1000CC sportsbike. What the fuck was I thinking? Didn’t think this through did you Harry? Like the Dog caper. I have believed for a long time (since my R1) that a 1000CC sportsbike is just overkill for most road riding conditions and compromised too much for everyday use. That’s why bikes like the MT09 and the Brutale 800 are so attractive to me. Power off the bottom, in real world conditions and front wheel lofting fun, everywhere. A lot more involving at slower speeds.
Everytime I stopped at the lights, I would listen to the intoxicating sound from the V4. Almost couldn’t be bothered taking off when they turned green! And I’m thinking “Yep, definitely buying this thing!” But everytime I twisted the throttle, I was reminded of my daily commute. 20-80 KMPH through traffic. This is 80% of my riding nowadays, with maybe 1 big day ride a month and a couple of big rides a year, like Tumbarumba. It is what it is. The Tuono would be absolutely epic on the longer runs but so underutilised on a daily basis that it would frustrate me to tears. I’m not one of those people that can stay happy on the look and sound of a bike alone. I need to feel like I’m riding the bike to somewhere near its potential. On the Tuono, I have fuck all chance to do that for 90% of my riding situations. I think my ambition might've outweighed my reality in this case.
You can see where this is going. This is why you I test ride bikes. Wish we could test ride dogs.
To be honest, once I realized the Aprilia was way too much bike for what I want to do, I didn’t really “test” ride it anymore. Sure, I rode it around for another 20 minutes, but in a state of shock more than eager probing. My mind went into overdrive trying to come to terms with the fact that even though I could now buy my dream motorcycle, that purchase made no sense. I had started the day on an incredible high, with the Brutale 800RR. I ended it heartbroken, not knowing where I was heading with this caper anymore.
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Monster 1200S
Fuck. Out of nowhere.
This bike was nowhere near my shortlist. I’ve heard about this bike, like you hear about new bikes being launched and then flick the magazine to the next page. It’s not particularly good looking or specced or popular. No-one really raves about them. It never makes the headlines in any of the shootouts, which are dominated by the Tuono, S1000R and the SuperDuke 1290. There’s a little paragraph somewhere about this new Monster. No-one cares.
They are wrong.
This is the best road bike I have ever ridden. So under-rated.
You can see where this is going. This is why you I test ride bikes. Wish we could test ride dogs.
To be honest, once I realized the Aprilia was way too much bike for what I want to do, I didn’t really “test” ride it anymore. Sure, I rode it around for another 20 minutes, but in a state of shock more than eager probing. My mind went into overdrive trying to come to terms with the fact that even though I could now buy my dream motorcycle, that purchase made no sense. I had started the day on an incredible high, with the Brutale 800RR. I ended it heartbroken, not knowing where I was heading with this caper anymore.
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Monster 1200S
Fuck. Out of nowhere.
This bike was nowhere near my shortlist. I’ve heard about this bike, like you hear about new bikes being launched and then flick the magazine to the next page. It’s not particularly good looking or specced or popular. No-one really raves about them. It never makes the headlines in any of the shootouts, which are dominated by the Tuono, S1000R and the SuperDuke 1290. There’s a little paragraph somewhere about this new Monster. No-one cares.
They are wrong.
This is the best road bike I have ever ridden. So under-rated.
I went to Steel City Motorcycles in Wollongong to test ride the Brutale 800. Bang across from them is Frasers. I didn’t know this and was pleasantly surprised because I was planning on pinching a ride on an 848 Streetfighter. That bike I was very interested in because based on internet reviews, it was nailing my search criteria. But Fraser’s Wollongong informed me that the Streetfighter line has been discontinued and they weren’t making them anymore and they didn’t have any used ones to sell either. I didn’t know that actually and very surprised because I thought the Streetfighter was a great looking bike and especially the 848, with its more accessible power and better handling than its bigger brother, was selling heaps. Anyway, the salesman asked me if I had considered a Monster the 1200. They had an S version on special for 16,999. That was definitely over my budget but I said, hey what the hell, the sun is shining and I’m in Wollongong, surrounded by glorious twisty roads. Why not!
After the first roundabout, this bike had my full attention.
It looks OK, never struck me as particularly handsome but is a similar stocky build like the Brutale but with lots of exposed mechanical stuff. Those beautiful, weird and purposeful exhaust headers being the most striking feature. Sitting on it feels really good. Excellent ergonomics, the seat is incredibly plush. Best riding position of a naked bike I’ve ridden. The rider’s view is fantastic, just clear scenery. No screen, no clutter, very compact and elegant TFT dash. It feels about the same weight as the Brutale when you pick it off the stand but as you get going you quickly realize that’s where the similarity between these 2 bikes end. The V-Twin engine is the same as the Multistrada and the Diavel and is the perfect roadbike engine. I am convinced. Big dollops of V-Twin goodness but with perfect fuelling and immediate thrust. The thrust really is amazing, right from 2K. The throttle is ride by wire but has great feeling and connection to the rear tyre, unlike the MV, which really seems very artificial compared to this.
After the first roundabout, this bike had my full attention.
It looks OK, never struck me as particularly handsome but is a similar stocky build like the Brutale but with lots of exposed mechanical stuff. Those beautiful, weird and purposeful exhaust headers being the most striking feature. Sitting on it feels really good. Excellent ergonomics, the seat is incredibly plush. Best riding position of a naked bike I’ve ridden. The rider’s view is fantastic, just clear scenery. No screen, no clutter, very compact and elegant TFT dash. It feels about the same weight as the Brutale when you pick it off the stand but as you get going you quickly realize that’s where the similarity between these 2 bikes end. The V-Twin engine is the same as the Multistrada and the Diavel and is the perfect roadbike engine. I am convinced. Big dollops of V-Twin goodness but with perfect fuelling and immediate thrust. The thrust really is amazing, right from 2K. The throttle is ride by wire but has great feeling and connection to the rear tyre, unlike the MV, which really seems very artificial compared to this.
This is the first bike I've ridden where the Ride Modes are extremely effective and actually make sense. The modes also set your ABS and TC settings and you can set the 3 modes to whatever you want. The S model has 145HP and in Sport you get all of them and it is a wild rush. In Normal, you get all horses but with less immediate throttle response. Urban has 100HP and I had no reason to use it but might be handy when its pouring down or while riding behind your mates on older Ducatis leaking oil. I left it in sport on my ride.
But enough about electronics, this bike is not great because of electronics. Its wonderfully balanced. The S model comes with top of the line Ohlins suspension and brembo brakes straight off the Panigale. The weight of the bike is wonderfully balanced with neither forward nor rearward bias. It is so easy to ride it at walking pace that it does not feel like a 200KG bike at any speed. It turns nicely, not as quick as a Brutale 800 but you will be able to take almost as tight lines on the Monster as on the Brutale despite the 20KG weight difference, because the thing is so well balanced in its geometry and composed by its suspension. I smashed through the same Mounta Kiera twisties that I’d romped on the Brutale 15 minutes ago and I'm sure I was quicker and most certainly smoother on this. And DAT V-TWIN. Thrumming away. In sport mode the Monster truly is monstrous, wanting to pick its front wheel at every surface imperfection. I wasn’t even trying to wheelie, just exiting corners hard.
But enough about electronics, this bike is not great because of electronics. Its wonderfully balanced. The S model comes with top of the line Ohlins suspension and brembo brakes straight off the Panigale. The weight of the bike is wonderfully balanced with neither forward nor rearward bias. It is so easy to ride it at walking pace that it does not feel like a 200KG bike at any speed. It turns nicely, not as quick as a Brutale 800 but you will be able to take almost as tight lines on the Monster as on the Brutale despite the 20KG weight difference, because the thing is so well balanced in its geometry and composed by its suspension. I smashed through the same Mounta Kiera twisties that I’d romped on the Brutale 15 minutes ago and I'm sure I was quicker and most certainly smoother on this. And DAT V-TWIN. Thrumming away. In sport mode the Monster truly is monstrous, wanting to pick its front wheel at every surface imperfection. I wasn’t even trying to wheelie, just exiting corners hard.
Now this is Brutale 800 territory. 25 and 35K corners. Bumpy and narrow goat track stuff. The Brutale with its light weight and quick turning should be owning this road. Nah. The Monster was all over it. In fact a funny thing happened. After I gave the Brutale 800 back at Steel City Motorcycles and walked over to Ducati, I saw another guy was lining up for a test ride on the Brutale. By sheer co-incidence I caught up to him at Mount Kiera and saw that he struggling with the tight corners. I blew past him. After the twisty section I stopped and waited for him to have a chat. He was a nice chap and shook his head at the Brutale. Didn’t jell with it at all. Too flighty he said. He mentioned that he regularly rides this road on his Husky Nuda and nails it. My ears perked up at this as the Nuda was on my list of bikes to ride and we had a chat about it. He loved the thing and generously offered me a test ride on his after we finished this. Ha, perfect! More on the Nuda later.
The Monster so. Fark me. Really impressive bike. This is exactly what I’m looking for in my big naked, big power in a small package. A great riding position, plenty of useable power, fantastic handling, good components and giggles. I got all of those. Lots of them. The seat is super plush, its 3 inches thick. The power goes from 2k to 10K and then you change up. I like that. This kind of power band I can easily use and I don’t have 5 thousand unused RPMs staring at me, taunting my manhood. It’s all really geared for low-end torque and there’s dollops of it. Post riding research confirmed mys eat of the pants feel. The Monster is actually quicker than most super nakeds upto 100KMPH. Just loses out on horsepower after that. I was not surprised at all by this. It certainly felt quicker than the Tuono around town, if not the Brutale. And heaps more involving. DAT V-TWIN.
This bike has perked me up after the debacle of the Tuono and reminded me about the intoxicating nature of a big V-twin. I had never ridden a big Ducati before. I so fucken understand now. It’s a lot more money than I want to spend but it’s the only bike I’ve tested till now that really makes me want to blow my budget. And my load.
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