I woke up the other morning at the usual time and half asleep, I went through the usual process of changing my daughter’s overflowing nappy. Nappies, now that is amazing technology. Do you know how much piss a nappy can retain without bursting its banks? A shit load. I mean it swells to humongous proportions and I swear I have taken a nappy off my daughter that felt heavier than Thor’s hammer. I have studied the constituents of a nappy very closely, not by choice but by circumstance. Let me tell you how that came about. A few weeks ago I was changing my daughter’s nappy and as I took it off, I spied a shadowy dot darting across the carpeted floor to my right. Being a hunter by instinct and a cockroach hater by nature, the urge to immediately destroy the spineless runt overwhelmed me. Now, anyone who has killed a cockroach before would know that response time is critical. You need to act immediately and decisively. Any delay and the fucker will find a little crevice somewhere and not emerge till lights are out. So, not wasting any time, I used the only thing I had immediate access to, to clobber the cockroach. I swung the soggy nappy over my head and brought it crashing down like Thor’s hammer. The lil fucker didn’t know what hit him and was blown to smithereens before he could say “Surely, this is a piss take”. Unfortunately, the nappy was blown into a million particles of fibre too, glistening with piss. They shone like crystals all over the carpet, upto 5 metres away from the epicentre of the destruction. It was a brilliant scene to behold, like a magic carpet of crystals and I was stunned into silent awe. It would've been romantic too if one didn’t know the nature of the glittering particles one was walking upon.
Anyway, how did we get to talking about nappies? Fuck!
So yeah, I woke up this morning and started to get ready to embrace the day. Then I peeked out the window and the view made me sick. The sky was a deep blue, the world was bathed in soft sunshine, the birds were chirping away and it all made me sick. So sick, in fact, that the need for remediation was paramount and overwhelming. And the only remediation for the sickness that had taken over me was this:
I fired it up and the soothing music from these instruments began ridding my body of evil and the aromatherapy of burnt petrochemicals further enhanced my feeling of well-being.
I got on the Tuono, let the clutch out and galloped off into the fresh morning air. The day was long and the world was mine to explore so I meandered along, starting at the old pacific highway where I was told to
I ignored that well-meaning advice by the government, which was only trying to protect me from myself. A sympathetic officer of the law informed me that there were plenty of brothers of the hidden steering wheel in my path as an “operation” was underway so I decided to get as far away from the path of the law as possible. I went down to wisemans, took the dirt road to St. Albans and continued down to Wollombi.
The stretch between Wollombi and Broke is one of my favourite runs around Sydney because of 2 reasons. The first reason is narrow and twisty with cliff on one side and a river on the other. It is bumpy and technical with no margin for error as the corners are blind and overgrown with vegetation. It is a compelling reason. The second reason for my partiality to this section is wide and smooth with sweeping constant radius turns and endless visibility. It is the stuff that road racers have wet dreams about and the Tuono proved to be an exhilarating mount to experience its thrills on. On this section, I also made another pertinent discovery. The Tuono will easily lift its front wheel with a snatch of throttle in first gear. I have only ever brought the front wheel up on a motorcycle with the help of a clutch. This new throttle only bonanza seemed so ridiculously easy that I was doing it at nearly every takeoff henceforth!
I then proceeded down the Putty Road where I was joyfully accosted by a brother of the clip-on, whose pleasure at seeing a connoisseur of that “other”, underrated Italian brand of bikes was immense.
Gary hails from Newcastle and rides a tricked up Aprilia RSVR that had a big bore kit installed, Ohlins front and back, Oz wheels and carbon fibre goodies costing more than my second bike is worth.
I then proceeded down the Putty Road where I was joyfully accosted by a brother of the clip-on, whose pleasure at seeing a connoisseur of that “other”, underrated Italian brand of bikes was immense.
Gary hails from Newcastle and rides a tricked up Aprilia RSVR that had a big bore kit installed, Ohlins front and back, Oz wheels and carbon fibre goodies costing more than my second bike is worth.
We rode through the ten mile together, him leading one way and me leading back. It was good to hear what my own bike sounds like as I heard Gary pulling out of corners in front of me. Fuck, that twin pipe goodness from the 60degree v-twin sounds incredible gunning out of corners!
The Tuono really came into its own on the 10 mile. Easy grunt, it was most enjoyable to avoid braking and just use the throttle on-off dial to meter speed into and out of corners. The suspension gave great feedback at substantial angles of lean and the overall package was rock solid and wildly entertaining.
I then decided to head further west to sample the pleasures of the Bylong Valley Way. This road is stunningly picturesque and breathtakingly fast. It is hard to go fast and enjoy the scenery as well and usually you have to choose one or the other to avoid becoming part of the scenery yourself.
The Tuono really came into its own on the 10 mile. Easy grunt, it was most enjoyable to avoid braking and just use the throttle on-off dial to meter speed into and out of corners. The suspension gave great feedback at substantial angles of lean and the overall package was rock solid and wildly entertaining.
I then decided to head further west to sample the pleasures of the Bylong Valley Way. This road is stunningly picturesque and breathtakingly fast. It is hard to go fast and enjoy the scenery as well and usually you have to choose one or the other to avoid becoming part of the scenery yourself.
But today I was able to somehow set a decent pace that still allowed me to take it all in. I credit the Tuono for it. It was just so pleasurable to ride through here. Put it in fourth and enjoy the pulsing rhythm of the twin through the winding countryside.
Having a decent tank range was also a pleasant surprise. The light came on at 205Ks and I had another 60 odd to go so I was never nervously scanning the horizon for signs of petroleum like I was used to on the Dorsoduro.
Instead, I stopped at some interesting sites and took it in the stunning countryside and its relaxed pace of life:
Instead, I stopped at some interesting sites and took it in the stunning countryside and its relaxed pace of life:
Then it was a fairly uneventful run back over the mountains via Bells with the only relief provided by the stunning lookout at Capertee of the weird and wonderful sandstone formations of the Widden area. My mobile phone pics are crap, it is a truly breathtaking place and view:
I got home after 10 hours on the bike and 700Ks under my belt feeling refreshed and relaxed. I think the day was just what the doctor ordered.
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