I woke up the other morning at the usual time and half asleep, I went through the usual process of changing my daughter’s overflowing nappy. Nappies, now that is amazing technology. Do you know how much piss a nappy can retain without bursting its banks? A shit load. I mean it swells to humongous proportions and I swear I have taken a nappy off my daughter that felt heavier than Thor’s hammer. I have studied the constituents of a nappy very closely, not by choice but by circumstance. Let me tell you how that came about. A few weeks ago I was changing my daughter’s nappy and as I took it off, I spied a shadowy dot darting across the carpeted floor to my right. Being a hunter by instinct and a cockroach hater by nature, the urge to immediately destroy the spineless runt overwhelmed me. Now, anyone who has killed a cockroach before would know that response time is critical. You need to act immediately and decisively. Any delay and the fucker will find a little crevice somewhere and not emerge till lights are out. So, not wasting any time, I used the only thing I had immediate access to, to clobber the cockroach. I swung the soggy nappy over my head and brought it crashing down like Thor’s hammer. The lil fucker didn’t know what hit him and was blown to smithereens before he could say “Surely, this is a piss take”. Unfortunately, the nappy was blown into a million particles of fibre too, glistening with piss. They shone like crystals all over the carpet, upto 5 metres away from the epicentre of the destruction. It was a brilliant scene to behold, like a magic carpet of crystals and I was stunned into silent awe. It would've been romantic too if one didn’t know the nature of the glittering particles one was walking upon.
Anyway, how did we get to talking about nappies? Fuck!
So yeah, I woke up this morning and started to get ready to embrace the day. Then I peeked out the window and the view made me sick. The sky was a deep blue, the world was bathed in soft sunshine, the birds were chirping away and it all made me sick. So sick, in fact, that the need for remediation was paramount and overwhelming. And the only remediation for the sickness that had taken over me was this:
I then proceeded down the Putty Road where I was joyfully accosted by a brother of the clip-on, whose pleasure at seeing a connoisseur of that “other”, underrated Italian brand of bikes was immense.
Gary hails from Newcastle and rides a tricked up Aprilia RSVR that had a big bore kit installed, Ohlins front and back, Oz wheels and carbon fibre goodies costing more than my second bike is worth.
The Tuono really came into its own on the 10 mile. Easy grunt, it was most enjoyable to avoid braking and just use the throttle on-off dial to meter speed into and out of corners. The suspension gave great feedback at substantial angles of lean and the overall package was rock solid and wildly entertaining.
I then decided to head further west to sample the pleasures of the Bylong Valley Way. This road is stunningly picturesque and breathtakingly fast. It is hard to go fast and enjoy the scenery as well and usually you have to choose one or the other to avoid becoming part of the scenery yourself.
Instead, I stopped at some interesting sites and took it in the stunning countryside and its relaxed pace of life: